Another Attempt
by Crazy Carloony
Summary: The popular, self-centered James Potter manages to win the heart of the beautiful, wise Lily Evans with an intelligent plan. But four years later, the girl learns to hate the boy who once had her love. Determined to win her back, James tries to change his


**Author's Note:**

Hello everyone.

This is my first story ever so please read and review. You may think the first chapter is boring, but please keep readingat least for the next chapter. This is only like a prologue or an introduction, so I promise there will be a lot more action going on. :-)

So here's the story:

**Another Attempt**

**Chapter 1: Prologue Part 1: The Girl**

**James**

I sat at my dinner table. Stacks of endless amounts of food were piled onto the plate before me. But I wasn't hungry. I just sat, staring at my half-full plate, thinking about the only thing I ever thought about every minute of each hour of each day of my life. Or at least it was what I thought about with all my extra time. I ate three meals a day, went to either of my fellow Marauders' house, went out to the park to play and joke around, hatched plans, but I thought about it throughout all of the time in between.

Her—She was the only thing that ever crossed my mind. How I wished I could have her, hug her and hold her so badly. But I knew it was impossible, I knew that none of what I wished for would ever happen, and I knew I would never even go up to the level where you could actually be called a friend. Not that she hated me, that wasn't it at all, but we were just so different. So distant from each other, I just wasn't her type of guy. But deep inside, I knew she was exactly my type of girl.

Of course, nobody knew about my true feelings for her. We were the type of guys who would ask each other for directions to our next class when we were lost or something, or the types of people who would only talk about schoolwork when working together in a project, but nothing more than that, sadly. And sometimes I hated myself for it. It made me feel pathetic that I could actually think of someone that way, knowing I had many more important things to think about. Because that just wasn't the way I was.

Or maybe just the way I didn't want to be. Sometimes I also thought that I only thought of myself that way because of peer pressure from my fellow Marauders. And I would feel that I just hid my true self from the world around me because I was overwhelmed by the crowd of people that loved me at Hogwarts. I was probably one of the most popular guys. And I loved the attention, loved having people love me, but I also hated that I loved it. I sometimes felt that I should be less conceited and that I shouldn't feel scared to show my true self because of what others would think.

And that was also why I loved her so much. She only had the same person by her side every day and I would sometimes think to myself, _why can't I be happy with the friends I already have? Aren't they good enough for me? I should appreciate what I have instead of asking for more._ I felt that I should try to change. But then I would also realize that it was too late. I wouldn't be able to leave my complete self behind and become a new person for someone else. I regretted never having tried harder earlier, bit it was pointless now.

But my processing thoughts became pretty soon interrupted by my terribly annoying, paranoid mother. "James, dear, aren't you hungry? You've been staring down at your food for the past twenty minutes. You should try actually eating something, isn't that what food is for?"

"No, mum, I'm not hungry," I responded using the same line as always. I of course was hungry, starving, but at the same time wasn't. I was hungry, but I didn't want to eat. Completely because of the growing internal issues which I would spend hours at a time thinking of on my bed, on my spare time.

And suddenly, as I thought about it some more, the perfect idea flashed into my head. I just couldn't believe I hadn't thought of this earlier, but as for right now, I smiled to myself as I ran to my room and found a quill and strap of parchment in my horribly cluttered drawer. I began scribbling crazy, bubbly, large, scratchy letters across the page.

**Lily**

On my porch I sat. Just thinking of how I hated the world at the moment. How I hoped everyone would just go to hell. How I wished the world around me would blow up and burn and shatter into tiny, burned, black, smoking pieces of dust. But deep inside, I wished that that would just happen to me.

I wanted to be out of the world. I was depressed and miserable; I felt that nothing could be worse than what I felt. I hated my life and I hated anything in it. Except for what I didn't hate of course. But there were very few such things. The only things I didn't hate were my teachers at Hogwarts and my best friend there.

Janice. I loved being with her, she was my best friend. The only person who understood me and didn't just think I was annoyingly pathetic when I would nag about my stupid life to her. She was the only person I felt that I could really open up and express myself to. Sometimes, we would exchange each other's perspectives on life itself. She was the only buddy I had.

The main reason I hated my life, however, was my family. I had a horrible family. I loved my sister and parents, but in that "they're-my-family-so-I-have-to" kind of way. I wanted a new family, I wished I had something better, I wished I wasn't so lonely and depressed for two straight months during summer vacation. I even thought myself stupid for it, but I actually liked having classes more than being stuck _here_. But the main point was that I hated Petunia. She was the most horrible sister any child could have. The only person you could probably find who was actually all stupid, annoying, ugly, bony, mean, ruthless, inconsiderate, and rude. I wanted her out of my life because she made me want myself out of life itself and it made me feel vulnerable to her. It seemed that she had so much power over me, so much ability to make me hate myself for being what I naturally was so easily. But whatever it was, I hated her for it. And I hated her for being _her._ She was the worst sister.

But suddenly, it didn't matter anymore. What mattered was a letter falling on my lap from a brown, spotted owl above me. I watched it spread its large wings and glide over the ceiling of my house, disappearing into the nothingness of the sky. And then, I looked back down to what I found on my lap. It was a small envelope and just staring at it made me nervous. I wondered why I would be getting any mail at all. I never received any mail, not even from Janice because her I could call. And I couldn't help but try to guess who it was and why. But nothing came to mind. No person, no reason, no reason whatsoever as to why I should have an anonymous letter sitting on my lap.

So I excitedly opened it. I pulled off the wax, without ruining the cute button, lifted the flap carefully so the envelope wouldn't be ripped, and then pulled out a slip of parchment.

I carefully skimmed over the large, bubbly and scratchy writing of the paper and wondered why I would be receiving such a strange message. I wondered who it was from and why the person asked me this, and I wondered what this person would want me for. I found it weird as I reread it about three times.

**James**

As desperately and quickly as possible, I ran. I fled through London's warm summer air as quickly as my sturdy, long legs could carry me. But I knew I wouldn't make it, I wouldn't reach Berley's in time, I was now positive. I would reach the place to find that Lily wasn't going to be there waiting for me to arrive. I was sure. After all the thinking, and carrying out my great plan, I blew my chance simply by sleeping so roughly that I didn't hear my brown owl, Brunnock screeching for me to wake. I was probably about fifteen minutes late, she was probably gone, and I would probably never find a better chance to go on a date with her.

Or at least it was a date to me. She surely didn't even know who she was meeting or why.Even just two minutes of friendly conversation with her would have been a sign of affection through my eyes. But at least I thought it was a date, even if she didn't even know what it was.

I finally reached my destination, however. I stopped, halting so quickly that I vaulted forward, nearly falling flat on my stomach. And I stopped to softly pat my wrinkled clothes and tug on my shirt so it would look neater. And I suddenly turned, as I heard a familiar voice.

I heard someone ask "James, what are you doing?" My worries were instantly relieved as I saw who it was.

"Uh. . . I was just. . . getting ready for my da-m-meeting. I mean my meeting. What are you doing here?"

"Are you meeting with Lily?"

"Well yes actually, I'm here to see Evans. So answer me. What are you doing here?" But there was no answer, just an awkward silence as my good friend slightly raised her left eyebrow, eyeing me suspiciously.

"I think someone has a _cru-ush_! And there she stood, making me angry again. I hated when she did that. Began acting like an amateur about stupid situations. Although I was like that, but at least people liked it when I did that.

I simply answered "But someone will have her bum mysteriously cracked in half if she doesn't shut _u-up_!"

She only laughed. But I glared at her as if were going to pull out a dagger and stab her chest while she stood there, giggling like an idiot. "Now, what are you doing here?"

"Oh gosh, you have so much to spill. I have so many questions you won't be able to answer as I ask even more while you try to speak. Ready? One. . . two. . . three. . . here goes: Since when? Why? How much? A lot? A real lot? Why didn't I know this? I should really know this! I don't understand why I don't know this, so why? Does anyone else know? Does she know? Do you want her to know? Will you tell her? I understand if you don't want to, so I can tell her for you!" . . . blatty-blatty-blah. . . "Am I boring you? Oh. Gosh, I'm sorry. This is just so interesting."

"Answer the bloody question, Janice, before I beat your ass through"—

"Ooh, ask me, I'll probably know, I know everything about her!"


End file.
